


Once More With Feeling

by exandriantrashpanda (topothesia), videogamedoc87



Category: Critical Role (Web Series) RPF
Genre: M/M, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-28
Updated: 2019-10-28
Packaged: 2021-01-04 23:57:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21205697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/topothesia/pseuds/exandriantrashpanda, https://archiveofourown.org/users/videogamedoc87/pseuds/videogamedoc87
Summary: Omega Liam needs Alpha Sam to help him with a heat. It's just a simple favor, right? Feelings don't have to be involved. Certainly not.





	Once More With Feeling

Liam doesn't normally bother with finding an Alpha for his heats anymore. Sure, he’d done it before he went on suppressors full time, but every Alpha he ended up with kept trying to “put him in his place.” While Liam might be an Omega, that doesn't mean he's just going to take a knot and be complacent. It's a small part of why he was happy to find out that his wife was a Beta. Fewer complications this way; he can take his suppressants and not worry about it. Until...

"Hi, this is Liam O'Brien,” Liam says as he answers his phone.

"Mr. O'Brien, hi, this is Erin down at the pharmacy, and I was calling to let you know that we can't refill your prescription for three months. We received a note from your doctor asking that you call him if you have any questions?"

Liam curses silently to himself. His doctor had told him that he was getting close to building up immunity to his current suppressors and that he would need to actually go through at least two heat cycles before he could go back on them.

"Shit. I totally forgot when I called that in. Thanks for the call, Erin, you know you're my favorite pharmacist."

"You say that to all of us, O'Brien, we're onto you," Erin says with a giggle.

Liam ends the call before leaning his head against the wall and groaning loudly.

"Babe? What's wrong?" Amy asks, poking her head around the corner.

"I have to go through my next two heat cycles. With no meds. Apparently I'm building up an immunity to the one I take and it needs to flush out of me before I can go back on it." Liam whines, head still against the wall.

"Well. Guess you'll need an alpha then," Amy says.

"I can ride it out on my own," Liam says.

"Uh huh. Remember the last time you tried that?" Amy says.

Liam sighs. "I don't want to find one off the Internet. I did that before we were married and I hated it."

"Well. What about your friends?" Amy asks.

"I hate asking them too," Liam says, already sounding irritated.

"I'm just the messenger," Amy says. "Don't shoot me."

"Sorry. I just -- fuck -- I hate dealing with the whole dynamics of it all. It's such a pain," Liam grumbles.

"Ask Sam. He's an Alpha, and it's not like you two aren't halfway to bonded anyway. I’m sure he’d be happy to help you.”

Liam turns a surprised look on his wife, “You...but...I mean…”

“We’ve had that talk, remember? I know that you loving Sam doesn’t mean you love me any less. And I like Sam, he’s good for you. He’d take care of you,” Amy tells him, coming over to gently stroke his hair.

“Well, I have three weeks to work up the nerve to ask him,” Liam mutters.

“If you haven’t done it in two weeks, I’ll call him myself.”

Liam makes a strangled sound and Amy giggles, “Don’t test me.”

“Oh, I know you’ll follow through. Fine. I’ll text him now, see if he can meet me for coffee before work tomorrow.”

**

Liam opens the door to Sam's house the next morning after carpool is done, his palms already sweating as he contemplates what spending his heat with Sam will be like. They've vaguely discussed dynamics before but mostly in a “yeah, I'm an Alpha” and an “Oh cool, I'm an Omega” kind of way and this is...not that. It hadn’t really mattered before.

"Liam? I'm in the kitchen," Sam calls out.

"Hey Sammy," Liam says, smiling a little as he comes into the kitchen.

Sam grins back at him, a mug of coffee in his outstretched hand, "Here. No cream, a little bit of sugar. So what's up? Your text was kind of cryptic."

"Yeah, sorry I -- fuck, why is this so hard?" Liam grumbles, wiping his hands on his jeans again.

"This is me, your bff for life Sam; you can tell me anything. Unless it's that you're moving away because that's not allowed. Who else will tease me endlessly for having more than one aerator?" Sam says, smiling a little nervously at Liam.

Liam manages a tiny chuckle and he reaches over to squeezes Sam's hand. "I...I had a talk with my doctor and I...God, this is so embarrassing. I have to go through two heat cycles to flush my suppressants out of my system because I'm building up an immunity to them."

"Well that's better than the path my mind was wandering when you said 'I had a talk with my doctor.’ But what do I have to do with all this?" Sam asks, confusion writ across his face.

"Amy suggested...uh...she suggested I ask you to help me through my heats. I know you would need to talk to Quyen and it's not for another three weeks, so there's time for me to find someone else if I have to," Liam gets out in a rush of words, cheeks going pink.

"Oh. Oh. You want...I mean...I'm flattered but…"

"I can always ask Taliesin if you don't want to."

"No! No it's...I'm...uh I've never…" Sam stammers, his face going bright red.

Liam gives him a look, "You've never what? Had sex? Lies, I've met your children and they look just like you."

"Uh...I've never had sex with an Omega?" Sam squeaks.

"What? You're fucking with me. I've heard about your escapades in college." Liam says, chuckling.

"I mean...I was kind of a slut but it was only Beta or Alpha girls, and then there was Quyen and I just...it never came up?" Sam says, still flushed.

"You're serious. You're actually serious. You've never knotted anyone? Ever?"

"No? I've never even really had a rut before," Sam says with a shrug.

“How are you even sure that you’re an Alpha, then?” Liam asks, sounding curious.

“Because, uh, well, uh...you know,” Sam says, waving his hand in a gesture that encompasses his crotch. “I have...it.”

“A knot?” Liam asks.

Sam’s cheeks flush. “Yeah. That.”

“And you’ve never even been curious?” Liam says.

“Well, yeah, but… I love my wife. And we’ve been together forever. It didn’t -- it didn’t seem worth it,” Sam says. “So honestly, I don’t really think about it that much. It’s also why I’ve always felt weird about mentioning it to anyone.”

“But if you were going to -- I mean, if your wife was okay with it… would you?” Liam asks, gazing into his cup of coffee as if he’s going to find answers inside it.

“Do you mean with anyone, or do you mean with you?” Sam says.

“Well, it’s not like I’d expect you to be trawling the personals on OmegaLife -- “ Liam starts to say.

“I still think that sounds like an insurance company -- “ Sam interrupts.

“Sam,” Liam says, finally looking up at him. “Would you do this, could you do this, not with any random omega, but with me? You can say no. I won’t be mad. We’ll still be best friends. And it’s just, well, twice, and then I can go back on Supressix and it’ll stop being a problem.”

Sam looks at Liam, reading the emotion in Liam’s face, realizing just how much this is costing Liam to ask, since Liam would usually rather be damned than ask for help if he could just stubborn through it on his own, and sighs quietly. “I’ll -- I’ll talk to Quyen,” he says. “Okay?”

“Thanks,” Liam says. “It’s really okay if she says no. If you say no. Really.”

“It sounds like you want us to say no,” Sam says. “Is that it?”

“No!” Liam says. “I just -- this is a change, I don’t know, it’s… I’m sorry, this is all new and I’m probably fucking it up somehow.”

“Enough of that,” Sam says, putting his hand on Liam’s shoulder. “I’ll talk to her. Just try not to go into heat before I do, okay?”

"I'll do my best." Liam says with a grin.

**

The week leading up to his heat finds Liam grumpy and anxious, his body temperature oscillating wildly between too hot and too cold, his moods just as volatile. Amy forbids him from touching the thermostat -- “The kids are going to get sick, please stop” -- and Liam exiles himself to his office, sleeping miserably on the pullout couch. He and Sam still haven’t really talked much about what’s going to happen, but Sam has promised he’s been doing research.

“I don’t know if that’s reassuring or even scarier. There’s a lot of weird shit out there about this,” Liam admits to Amy after dinner the night before his heat starts.

“At least he’s trying? You have to give him points there,” Amy says, squeezing his arm.

The whole situation feels very clandestine, and it’s not helped by the fact that they’re doing this at Liam’s house, since Amy sensibly decided to take the kids away for a few days in order to give Liam and Sam some privacy. Liam feels like the other woman and it wears on him a little, even after the conversation he and Quyen had.

“Honey, I’m home!” Sam calls out as Liam hears the front door open.

“In here,” Liam calls back, finally giving in and tugging his tank top off before flopping back on the cool leather with a happy sigh.

Sam finds Liam lounging on the couch, sweating profusely even with the AC cranked all the way down. “You look like shit,” Sam says, setting what sounds like a heavy bag down.

“Thanks, Sammy. That’s real great, so kind, fantastic start,” Liam gripes, leaning his head back and closing his eyes.

Liam sighs again when a cool hand brushes his forehead and strokes his hair, blinking his eyes open to see Sam standing above him. There’s a tension in the air that doesn’t have anything to do with Liam’s heat, something between the two of them that Liam has tried to keep tightly packed away but which his heat is dragging back out.

“Let’s just do this,” Liam grumbles, stumbling to his feet.

“I’m not that kind of girl,” Sam says. “I didn’t think you were either. Don’t you want some, like, romance first? Or at least some alcohol?”

“I don’t need romance,” Liam says. “This isn’t about romance. It’s just biology.”

“Alcohol, then?” Sam says. “I got some moonshine off Mary Elizabeth.” He digs in the bag and produces a bottle.

“We’re not making a podcast out of this,” Liam snaps.

“Of course not,” Sam says. “I just -- it’s been a while -- “ and he pauses as if waiting for Liam to sing, but Liam just glares at Sam -- “It’s been a while since I’ve slept with anyone who isn’t my wife. And I’ve never -- with a guy, you know? Let alone as an alpha.”

“You don’t have to remind me,” Liam says. “I appreciate your assistance in this matter.” His tone’s become formal and distant, as if Sam’s offered to help him prepare for a directing gig.

“Okay. Okay okay okay,” Sam says. He digs his phone out of his pocket, swiping it on and looking at the list of tips from the Internet that he’d compiled. Remind your omega that you are the one in charge, he reads. Somehow I don’t think that’s going to go over well, he thinks, and looks down to the next tip.

“Are you busy?” Liam says. “Should I leave you to catch up on your texts? Or are you working on Thursday’s ad already?”

“I’m just -- checking something,” Sam says. He reads the next tip: Speak to your Omega in soothing tones. Encourage them to kneel, the natural state for them. Sam takes a deep breath. “So. Shall we have a drink?” he asks, trying to make his tone soothing and calm. “We can sit down. On the sofa.”

“What are you doing?!” Liam says. “You sound like you just ate a bottle of Xanax and are trying to record the world’s most boring audiobook.”

“Well, that didn’t work either,” Sam mutters to himself before addressing Liam again. “Can we just have a damn drink before our clothes go flying and we do it like they do on the Discovery Channel? Or do you need -- do you need to -- right now?” he asks, suddenly unable to complete the sentence.

Liam stares at Sam, and Sam squirms uncomfortably. “Fine. If it will make you feel better, I’ll have a drink,” Liam says.

Sam pats himself on the back mentally and goes to get glasses. When he comes back, Liam is taking a swig straight from the bottle, and Sam pauses.

"Don't you want a glass? Don't -- I mean shouldn't we do this right?" Sam asks, squirming again when Liam gives him that same flat stare.

"Right? This is just biology, Sam, not some grand romance like they show in the movies. You're here because I don't like having to find an Alpha on OmegaLife and I trust you. So let's just do this, okay?" His voice softens a little when he sees Sam's face.

"Okay," Sam agrees, his eyes on the floor. This is not at all what the Internet said this encounter would be like. I’m supposed to have Liam on his knees at this point, or making him submit to my Alpha will somehow. I’m good at acting; why can’t I act like the Alpha he needs me to be?

Sam keeps his eyes on the floor as he follows Liam to the guest bedroom, where Liam immediately strips his shorts off and lays down on the bed, groaning a little at the feeling of the cool sheets on his overheated skin. Sam checks his phone again, one more time: Make sure to keep your Omega close afterwards; post heat sickness can come on fast if they aren't reminded that they belong to you.

"You can do this," Sam mutters to himself as he stares at Liam, eyes roving over his naked form.

It's not like they haven't seen each other in various stages of undressed before, but this is different, or at least it feels different. They're both getting naked together for a sexual reason this time.

"Are you going to just stand there gawping at my doodle all day, or are you going to get naked and come over here?" Liam asks, looking over at Sam with one eyebrow raised.

Sam hurriedly strips and walks over to the bed. This close, with both of them naked, he can smell Liam, the pheromones filling his senses until he starts to feel light-headed. Liam smells -- fuck -- he smells so good. He's reminded of a Cabernet that he and Liam had shared at their mandated man date wine tasting last year. Hints of berries of some kind, blackberries maybe? An overwhelming scent of vanilla and spice and the barest hint of leather. Sam wants to drink it in (Ha. I'm hysterical, he thinks) and he lays down next to Liam, burying his nose in his neck.

"You smell amazing, holy shit," Sam mutters out loud.

Liam makes a surprised noise, but then Sam hears him inhale. “So do you,” Liam mumbles into Sam’s hair. “Like good Scotch.”

“I was just thinking you smelled like wine,” Sam says, and both of them laugh, a little of the tension between them releasing.

Sam nuzzles at Liam’s neck again, wrapping his arms around Liam so that he can pull Liam closer, enjoying the feel of Liam’s warm skin against his. “Goddamn,” Sam says, and he licks at Liam’s neck.

Liam giggles. “That tickles,” he said. “Are you trying to drink me?”

“I’m not so great at this Alpha thing, am I?” Sam says, looking up at Liam.

“Aw, Sammy,” Liam says, a little of the crankiness fading from his tone. “I’m not exactly being a model omega here. I’m sorry. Can we try again?”

“Of course,” Sam says. “Just -- just tell me what to do?” You’re supposed to be the one doing that, he thinks, but so far nothing he’s read has been working. And shouldn’t I at least ask Liam what he wants? Is that not Alpha enough? he wonders.

“I mean, you just need to -- to -- “ Liam says.

“Insert tab A in slot O?” Sam says, smiling softly at Liam.

“Yeah,” Liam says. “You should -- it should just happen -- have you ever had a rut before?” he finally asks.

“I don’t think so?” Sam says. “But there’s a first time for everything.” He inhales again, feeling Liam’s scent fill his senses again, and he tightens his arms around Liam without even thinking about it. “You really -- I really want to -- ” he says.

“I want you to,” Liam says, his voice low. “I want you, Sam.”

Sam moans, the sound low and rough as Liam tilts his head back, baring his neck. He leans in and nips gently, fighting the urge to just roll Liam over and claim him immediately.

"I -- I feel -- fuck," Sam says, that overwhelming need welling up inside him when he inhales against Liam's neck again.

"Yes. Yeah, Sammy. S'nice, right?" Liam asks, his voice slow, like he's drunk and trying to carefully choose the right words.

"This -- I've definitely never felt this," Sam says, winding as much of himself around Liam as he can, turning them on their sides so he can grind against Liam's ass. He almost feels like he's floating; his head is slightly fuzzy and the only clear thought he has is Claim. Ours. Omega. Want, and he growls softly, with Liam shuddering in his arms.

"Can I taste you?" Sam asks, nuzzling at the back of Liam's neck, one hand slowly stroking up and down his chest and stomach while the other one slides down Liam's back to grope his ass.

Liam nods, moaning when Sam rolls him onto his front and his cock makes contact with the sheets. Sam moves behind him, eyes going wide when he sees that Liam is -- he's wet between his thighs, and the scent is even stronger as Sam leans down.

“Fuck,” Sam says softly.

“That’s -- that’s the idea,” Liam says giddily, his words almost slurring a little.

Sam was pretty sure he was going to hesitate when it got to this point, but a wave of desire sweeps through him, and he leans down and licks at the wetness without even thinking twice.

Liam makes a low needy groan and Sam does it again, intoxicated off of Liam’s scent and taste, how Liam shudders every time Sam’s tongue teases at a particularly sensitive spot. Sam lifts his head and Liam whines and squirms on the bed.

“I want to -- I need to, fuck, Liam,” Sam says, pushing himself up. He doesn’t quite feel in control of his own body, but that’s okay, because his body seems to know exactly what to do, and Sam’s happy to go along for the ride right now.

“Yes, Sam, fuck, please,” Liam says, his voice low and urgent, like he’s going to expire from need.

Sam nudges Liam’s thighs a little further apart and then puts his hands on Liam’s hips, tugging Liam up so he’s on his knees, face down on the bed almost in a parody of downward dog in yoga. He does hesitate this time, just for a moment, but Liam lifts his head and turns it to look at Sam, and the pureness of the desire in his gaze cuts through the rest of Sam’s inhibitions with laser-sharp precision. Sam surges forward, pushing into Liam in one fast stroke, and Liam keens.

Everything gets hazy for Sam and Liam after that -- the last coherent thought Sam remembers having is Fuck, he feels so good, whereas Liam’s is something like Fucking finally, I thought I was gonna have to draw him a map to my ass. But then it all turns into a blur of thrusting and moaning, scratching and biting, fucking and knotting.

**  
Liam feels wrung out; he’s not sure what day it is, let alone the time. He leans over to check his phone and sighs when he realizes it’s been almost two days since he had a coherent thought. Sam is wound around his back, snoring softly. Liam’s sore all over and he winces when he stretches up, craning his neck to see a line of bite marks trailing across his shoulder.

“Jesus, Sam. I’m not a fucking chew toy,” Liam mutters, tone dark.

“Hmm? What? Liam?” Sam mumbles sleepily, blinking up at him.

He tries to drag Liam back down and Liam pushes him away gently; Sam tries again and Liam pushes back, harder this time.

“Come back, supposed to cuddle you,” Sam says, voice rough.

“Supposed to cuddle me? Fuck that,” Liam says, almost growling at Sam as he climbs out of bed with another wince.

“Hey, wait, Liam,” Sam calls after him as he limps his way to the door.

“I’m going to shower. Alone. You can use this bathroom and then go. I’ll be fine.”

Sam watches Liam limp away, frowning to himself. He’s supposed to want to cuddle for a while afterwards, he thinks to himself, shivering as the cranked AC cuts on again and cold air washes over him. Did I screw up? Sam wonders as he makes his way into the guest bathroom, turning the water on as hot as he can stand. Liam still isn’t anywhere to be found when he’s dried off and dressed again and Sam’s shoulders slump.

“I fucked up,” Sam says out loud, waiting for some kind of answer but not getting any response. “Well, fuck it, if he wants me to leave, then I’ll fucking leave.”

**  
Ensconced in the back of a coffeehouse that he almost never visits, Liam sighs as his phone buzzes for the fifteenth time with yet another text from Sam: Are you okay? At least tell me that you’re not dead and I’ll leave you be. He swipes this text away like the others and this time he remembers to switch on “Do not disturb” mode on his phone.

You shouldn’t have left your Alpha, the omega voice in his brain tells him. Fuck off, he tells that voice. You don’t control me. But then he sighs. Forget leaving his Alpha; he shouldn’t have left Sam -- his best friend, his partner in crime, his husband. He wouldn’t have had sex with me if it hadn’t been for this stupid biological imperative, Liam thinks. So he doesn’t owe me anything, and I don’t owe him anything either. I already said thank you. Right? Right. Now things can get back to normal again. He drinks the rest of his coffee and decides that he should go running, even though he’s still sore and dehydrated.

**  
“You’re home early,” Quyen says to Sam as Sam bursts into the house like a hurricane, but since that’s how Sam usually enters a room, she barely notices Sam’s distress until she looks up. “So. What happened?”

Sam sighs and flops down onto the couch, burying his head in his wife’s lap. “I thought it was going well,” he mumbles into her thigh. “But then he told me to fuck off and left. So I left too.”

Quyen sighs heavily, setting down her knitting, and pets Sam’s hair. “Tell me all about it.”

**  
_Our two ridiculous husbands have fucked up again_, Quyen texts Amy later.

_Tell me about it,_ Amy replies. _Or don’t. I’ve heard enough from Liam already._

_Ditto, with Sam._

_I’m staying out of this. They can make up on their own terms and in their own time._

_Same. But if they divorce, I’m keeping you._

_Agreed._

_**_  
A few days later, Liam is half dozing on the couch on the Talks set when something hard lands on his stomach.

“Oof! What the fuck?”

He blinks a few times and grabs for his glasses, eyebrows furrowing when he sees the somewhat thunderous look on Taliesin’s face and a book on his stomach.

“I just had a very interesting conversation with Sam,” Taliesin says.

“Okay? That doesn’t explain the eldritch being look in your eyes or the reason you threw a book at me.”

“He is under the impression that he is lacking as an Alpha. I wonder what, or should I say who, could have given him that impression,” Taliesin almost growls, a bit of his Alpha voice seeping through and making Liam shiver.

Liam sits up, rubbing his face and knocking his glasses askew. “So he told you. Great, I thought we were keeping it between us.”

“I had to draw it out of him when I saw him sitting in the kitchen with the worst kicked puppy look I have ever been witness to,” Taliesin says as he sits next to Liam on the couch. “So, what happened?”

“Nothing. Well, I mean, he helped me through my heat, but that was it.”

“Uh huh. And what happened after? When you were coherent again?”

“I -- um -- may have left? And invited him to leave? But he knew it was just about my heat. Right?” Liam says, almost pleadingly.

“I think the two of you need to have a good, long, talk. Liam, does he know how you feel about him? At all? Even a hint?” Taliesin asks, one hand rubbing Liam’s shoulder.

“I don’t -- we’ve never really talked about it. It’s, I mean, I know I love him. In a more than friends kind of way, but he doesn’t -- he doesn’t feel the same.”

“Are you absolutely sure about that? Because he seemed pretty lovelorn to me when we talked about you. He said he must have screwed up somehow and then we had a nice long discussion about his ‘research.’ The less said about some of the stuff he found, the better. But just talk to him. Please. The two of you being at odds is always disconcerting. Mostly because it never happens,” Taliesin says, pulling Liam into a one armed hug.

“Fine. If it will get you to stop giving me the Alpha glare, it’s worth it,” Liam says. He pauses for a beat. “But -- Taliesin -- “ he says, and then stops again.

“Hm?” Taliesin says.

“How can I be sure that his feelings aren’t just -- you know -- chemically compelled?” Liam says. “Or that mine aren’t either, I guess?” He sighs and slumps forward, putting his elbows on his knees and letting his head fall into his hands.

“You can reduce every type of human emotion to a biochemical reaction,” Taliesin says. “But does that make how you feel less real?”

“I guess not,” Liam says. “But -- what if he doesn’t feel the same when I’m not in heat? What if my feelings change? Like when I go back on the suppressors, will he still… will I still…?”

“Only one way to find out,” Taliesin says.

“Maybe I should just find another Alpha,” Liam says. “It’s only one more cycle. I don’t want to do this to Sam again.”

“Avoiding this problem isn’t going to make this go away,” Taliesin says. “And if you think Sam feels inadequate now, imagine how he’d feel if you rejected him for someone off the Alpha/Omega section of Craigslist.”

Liam sighs again. “You’re right. Why do you have to be right?”

“Go talk to him,” Taliesin says, squeezing Liam’s shoulder and inadvertently pressing on the large slowly fading cluster of bite marks that Sam had left.

Liam has a sudden fierce memory of Sam biting him, Sam’s voice growling in Liam’s ear about how Liam is his, and he shivers. “Okay. I’ll go talk to him.”

He finds Sam in the kitchen where Taliesin left him, head on his arms and -- Are those tear tracks on his cheeks? -- Liam thinks as he gets closer, pulling a chair out to sit across from him. Sam wipes at his eyes, sniffling quietly and Liam feels something in him crack.

"I love you," Liam blurts out. "Like I'm in love with you. And -- and I want to maybe sleep with you outside of my heat."

Liam slides his glasses off his face, Sam turning into a soft edged brightly colored blur, his features not defined. There's a soft, questioning sound from the other side of the table and then a hand lands on his, squeezing a little.

"I...I love you too. Like in the 'Your face is one of the first things I think about in the morning' kind of way," Sam says, his voice soft.

"But -- but how do we know this isn't just because of our dynamics? Biological impulses making us feel this way?" Liam says, glasses still in his hands so he doesn't have to see Sam’s face.

"Well, I fell in love with you the minute you say next to me at that panel in New York almost twenty years ago. Before I ever knew you were an Omega. I went home that night and told Quyen that I'd met the most beautiful man I'd ever seen."

Liam hears Sam get up and then he takes Liam's glasses, sliding them carefully back on his face before tilting his chin up. "I love you. And -- and I'm sorry if I fucked up somehow. If...if I'm not good enough as an Alpha, then I understand." Sam says, a sad smile on his face.

“Oh, Sammy,” Liam says, and his own voice cracks. “It’s not -- it was never your fault. I don’t -- I don’t like being an Omega. I don’t like being at the mercy of biology. Although I guess we all are, aren’t we?” he says.

“But the Internet said that if I were a good enough Alpha, you’d ‘enjoy the Omega experience’ and it would ‘affirm your place in the natural hierarchy,’” Sam says.

“The sex was amazing,” Liam says. “Although I’m not the most reliable narrator there.”

Sam grins and preens a little, and Liam squeezes his hand before saying, “But, despite what you’ve read, I don’t want my ‘place in the natural hierarchy’ affirmed. I don’t want to be your Omega. I want to be your best friend. Your co-worker. Your husband.”

“Oh,” Sam says, as understanding finally dawns. “You don’t want me to act like I’m pretending to be the bad pop culture version of an Alpha. You just want...me?”

“Yeah,” Liam says. “But it wasn’t fair of me to use you like that.”

“You didn’t use me,” Sam insists. “I volunteered. And I don’t regret it.”

“Can we start again?” Liam says, having a brief moment of deja-vu.

“Sure,” Sam says. “Did you really mean what you said? About wanting to be with me even if you’re not in heat?”

“Only one way to find out,” Liam says.

Sam laughs, and leans across the table to kiss Liam. Liam raises a hand to Sam’s cheek, ignoring how the table digs into his stomach to press a little closer.

“I see you two have made up.” Taliesin’s voice makes them break apart, both of them jumping a little. He has a smile on his face and he comes over to ruffle Sam’s hair and kiss Liam’s forehead. “I am very glad but maybe take this somewhere else? Unless you want to deal with everyone cooing over how cute you are.”

Liam and Sam grin at each other and Liam takes Sam by the hand, dragging him out of the kitchen.

**  
They spend the next few weeks before Liam’s second cycle stealing bits of time here and there. It’s like being a teenager; sneaking around the studio to make out in closets and empty conference rooms, even managing to get a couple of nights to themselves at Sam’s house. Liam leaves sore and happy, actually looking forward to his heat for the first time...ever?

This time they’re at Sam’s house and Liam opens the door with a grin. They have some time before his heat starts, and he has plans. Sam greets him with a kiss and a glass of wine and leads him to the kitchen. Dinner is delicious and Liam drags Sam to his feet to kiss him afterwards, grinning against his mouth when Sam grabs at him a little desperately.

“You okay, Sammy?”

“Just -- _fuck_, Liam -- this is...I don’t even know,” Sam says, cheeks going pink.

“Yeah, I know what you mean. I’ve never -- I mean I’ve been with Alphas before but it’s different with you,” Liam says, stroking Sam’s face.

Sam’s blush deepens and he ducks his head, squirming a little when Liam tickles his side. Liam kisses him again, arms wrapping around his back and pulling him closer. Everything else fades away except the feeling of Sam’s mouth on his and his hands sliding under his shirt, hands hot against Liam’s lower back.

“We should take this to the bedroom,” Sam pants when they break apart.

“Well you did wine and dine me, so I suppose I’ll put out,” Liam says with a grin.

“Does this count as a third date? Or maybe a fourth?” Sam says as he grins back, taking Liam’s hand and leading him upstairs to his office.

“I don’t know, I feel like we’ve gone past that point in our relationship. How many times have we been out to dinner?” Liam says as he chuckles.

“Are you counting the times at cons? Or before streams? Or just when it’s been like actual man dates?” Sam says as he starts to peel Liam’s henley off before taking his own shirt off.

“Hm. I suppose if it’s just man dates then it’s a much smaller number. Until recently,” Liam says, unzipping his jeans and pushing them down before stepping out of them as Sam mirrors his actions.

“It’s hard to count when we’re getting naked,” Sam says.

“True. Shall we table this discussion for a later date?” Liam says, trying to sound as formal as possible and managing not to giggle.

“I concur with my learned colleague,” Sam says in an equally formal tone, and then both of them laugh.

Liam collapses back onto the bed, tugging Sam down with him. “Come here,” he says.

“So demanding,” Sam says fondly.

“Oh no, what would the internet say about such a needy demanding Omega, o mighty Alpha?” Liam asks, giggling.

“They’d say clearly I’m not keeping you occupied enough,” Sam says, rolling onto his side so that he’s looking down at Liam.

“What parts of me would you like to occupy first?” Liam says, giggling again. “Or should I occupy you this time?”

Sam's eyes immediately widen a little and his mouth open and closes a few times. Liam sits up, one hand coming up to poke Sam in the side.

"Hey, you got all weird," Liam says when Sam snaps out of whatever he was in, face a bright red.

"Um -- uh -- would you actually -- I mean it's kind of weird but --" Sam tries to say.

"Sammy boy, just spit it out. To echo your words from a few weeks ago, it's me, your friend for life, Liam, you can tell me anything," Liam says in his best impression of Sam.

"Is it -- it's not too weird if I -- I want you to do me?" Sam manages to squeak out before turning and burying his face in the pillows.

Liam feels himself bluescreen momentarily, everything fading away except the mental image of Sam underneath him. He grabs Sam's shoulder and gently pulls him out of the pillows. "One, you're going to suffocate like that, and two, no it's not weird at all. I -- I can't say I've never thought about it but mostly as some ephemeral fantasy I would never get to have. And here you are, with your adorable blush, asking me to fuck you."

Sam whines and squirms under Liam's dark look, one of Liam's hands sliding up into Sam's hair. He moans when Liam tightens his fist, tugging until Sam's neck is bared, like he's -- he's an Omega and Liam is the Alpha. He’s pretty sure he saw some porn like this once -- no, he’s definitely sure he saw some porn like this once, but it doesn’t count if it’s research related, right? Plus everyone knows that porn isn’t realistic -- all the message boards said that clearly it was all done by betas or by alphas pretending to be omegas doing omegas pretending to be alphas.

"Liam. Liam, please?" Sam whimpers, reaching out to grab at his shoulders.

Liam leans in and noses up Sam's neck, noticing that he still smells like good Scotch, the kind they age in oak barrels for ten or more years and make you pay exorbitant amounts of money for, before licking a wet trail up and nipping under Sam's jaw.

“You taste good,” Liam says. “Do you taste like Scotch all the way down? I wonder.”

“You already know the answer to that,” Sam says.

“Maybe I just want to be sure,” Liam says.

“Just don’t mix me with Coke,” Sam says with a giggle.

Liam laughs. “Matt and Taliesin are never gonna live that down,” he says.

“It’s one of the few times I’ve ever agreed with Foster,” Sam says.

Liam laughs and starts kissing down Sam’s chest. “So. You watched that porn too, huh?”

“How -- how did you know?” Sam says.

“I watched it too,” Liam says, nuzzling at Sam’s right hip. “Especially the one where the two of them looked a little like us.”

“Oh. Ohhh,” Sam says, drawing the syllable out into a moan when Liam licks up the underside of his cock.

“I don’t know if I’m as flexible as that Omega,” Liam says.

“You don’t -- oh fuck -- you don’t have to be, especially if you keep doing that,” Sam says.

“Hand me the lube,” Liam says, and Sam grabs it off the nightstand and passes it down.

Sam isn’t sure how to describe the feeling of Liam sliding a slick finger into him. It’s new and strange and good and almost too much all at once, his whole body trembling slightly. Liam goes slowly, mouthing at the head of Sam’s cock to keep him distracted when he slides a second finger into him.

“Liam, Liam I --” Sam trails off into a startled moan when Liam’s fingers twist and press up inside him, nudging something that makes stars explode behind his eyes.

“Okay?” Liam asks, laying his head on Sam’s thigh.

“So okay. Don’t...don’t stop?” Sam pants, one hand coming down to run through Liam’s hair.

“Not planning on it,” Liam says, moving to kiss along Sam’s inner thigh as he adds a third finger.

Despite what the internet and some porn shows, the majority of Omegas don’t have tiny dicks. Liam knows he’s not up to Alpha standards, but he’s well endowed enough that he makes sure Sam can take three of his fingers easily before he pulls them out and gets his cock slick.

“You ready?” Liam asks, wiping his hand on the sheets.

“Yes, please,” Sam says, blinking as he tries to focus on Liam’s face.

“How do -- no, I can’t say it that way -- what position do you want?” Liam asks.

“You pick,” Sam says.

“Just stay where you are, then,” Liam says, moving between Sam’s legs and lifting one of them, letting it rest against his torso. “We can do it just like this.” He pushes forward, guiding his cock into Sam, moving slowly at first and then more quickly when Sam seems eager to continue. “How’s that?” he asks.

“That’s...yeah,” Sam says.

“Have I rendered you speechless?” Liam says giddily.

Sam laughs. “Less talking, more fucking,” he says.

“Yes, o mighty Alpha,” Liam says, and starts to move.

As much as he wants to memorize every single moment of this, Liam doesn’t remember every second or even every minute, but he does remember the way Sam feels around him, the ever-changing array of expressions on Sam’s face -- surprise, desire, and delight chief among them -- and the low keen that Sam makes when he comes.

“Is that what it’s like for you?” Sam asks later, when they’re snuggled together in bed, the blankets carelessly crumpled around them.

“I don’t know?” Liam says. “I can’t explain how a heat feels, really. And I don’t know how sex feels to you.”

“It felt pretty good,” Sam says, squeezing Liam gently.

“Good,” Liam says. “It was… I liked it a lot. I hope they won’t kick me out of Omega Club,” he says jokingly.

“You guys have a club? Alphas have a society. And I’m pretty sure I was never a member so I’m good,” Sam says with a tired giggle.

Liam kisses the top of his head with a soft chuckle of his own even as uncertainty rises in him. He knows Sam was into it, that much was obvious but -- but what if was just because it’s what he thought Liam might want? And not what he wanted for himself.

“Hey, you...you did enjoy that, right?” Liam asks.

“I told you it felt pretty good, which might be a bit of an understatement, but yes I really did enjoy it. Stop beating yourself up about it; I can feel the angst building,” Sam mutters into his neck, kissing his jaw.

“You know me far too well,” Liam murmurs, holding Sam close as his worry starts to recede.

“Mmm. Sleep now. Big day tomorrow,” Sam says, words slurring a little as his eyes close.

Liam grins, he’s -- and he can’t believe he’s thinking this but -- he’s actually excited for his heat. He has Sam, his husband, his Alpha, and he follows Sam into sleep with a smile still on his face.

Liam’s already starting to feel the effects of his heat when he wakes up the next morning, sweating profusely as he pushes the blankets down. He climbs out of bed, careful not to disturb Sam too much as he heads to the bathroom before going to the thermostat and sighing a little when the AC kicks on.

“You okay?” Sam mutters sleepily when Liam comes back in the bedroom.

“Yeah, starting to...to uh, feel the effects, you know?” Liam says, stretching a little.

Sam sits up, “Oh? Oh. Um, okay, do -- I mean -- uh, now?”

Liam grins at him, “I’m okay for the moment; I am starving though. We don’t have to rush this time; I want to enjoy it.”

“You didn’t enjoy it last time?” Sam asks, frowning as he gets out of bed and pulls some pajama pants on.

“It wasn’t because of you; it was because of me,” Liam says. “It’s hard to like doing something when you don’t like that part of who you are. But now…?”

“Now I’d better feed you before we get this show on the road?” Sam says.

“Something like that,” Liam says.

“You never told me,” Sam says a little later over mimosas and eggs in the kitchen, “About your change. You just told me you were an omega and that was it.”

“You never told me about yours,” Liam counters.

“I’ll show you mine if you show me yours?” Sam asks, grinning at Liam.

“Pretty sure we’ve already moved past that point,” Liam says. He shivers a little, and pulls the hoodie on that he’d draped over the chair five minutes ago when he complained that he was too hot. “But, sure? There’s not much to tell, really. It ran in the family -- both sides, really -- so I wasn’t surprised. Annoyed, but not surprised.”

“Yes, but when?” Sam asks, leaning forward.

“College?” Liam says. “Like most people. God, that was a bad time for my roommate. I ended up changing rooms the next semester so I could have a single. At least that was an acceptable ‘medical reason’ then.”

“Did you -- were you -- how did you deal with it?” Sam asks.

“Denial? Locking myself in the bathroom a lot?” Liam says. “I really didn’t want to have to involve other people. There were some Alphas on campus, but they were mostly frat bro asshole types, and I was not interested in that. Thankfully I found out about suppressors, and I mustered up my courage to go to a clinic and get some, and then it wasn’t as much of a problem anymore.”

“Yeah, but you didn’t -- didn’t you ever?” Sam asks.

“I’ll tell you that if you tell me about how you found out you were an Alpha,” Liam says, peeling his sweatshirt off again.

“It’s embarrassing,” Sam whines, scrubbing his face with his hands.

“Oh, now I really have to know,” Liam says with a grin.

“It was a surprise; the gene hasn’t been in my family for a really long time, like four generations I think? And I -- seriously this is so embarrassing -- I popped my first knot while I was” -- Sam makes a jacking off motion with his hand and Liam splutters with laughter -- “and then I freaked the fuck out and started yelling for my mom?”

Liam keels over with laughter, almost falling out of his chair as his face turns bright red. Sam crosses his arms, a pout on his face as he nudges Liam with his foot.

“You’re awful, laughing at my teenage embarrassment.”

“Oh my God. I -- oh my God, Sammy. What, uh, what did your mom say when she came in?” Liam manages to get out through sporadic fits of laughter.

“You mean once we both stopped screaming, me in confusion and her in shock? She told me to put my pants back on and come downstairs. There was a very awkward talk about Alphas and Omegas and then she told me I should lock my door next time,” Sam mutters, his cheeks flushing.

Liam wipes his eyes, trying to catch his breath when a wave of heat rushes through him. He grits his teeth, hands white knuckling the table in front of him, and Sam looks at him with concern. “You okay?”

“Just a...a hot flash I guess? It happens before my heat really kicks in and you being here is definitely escalating the timetable?” Liam says.

Sam’s eyes fall to the tabletop and his shoulders hunch a little, “Sorry? I...I can go be somewhere else?”

“Oh, Sammy, no. It’s not a bad thing. It just means that your pheromones are...they’re like really good wine? Or catnip maybe? It’s a good thing. Means I like you,” Liam says, reaching out to tug Sam’s hand free from his crossed arms so he can squeeze it.

“That’s a thing? I don’t remember reading anything about that in my research?” Sam says, squeezing Liam’s hand back and noticing how Liam seems to respond almost instantly.

“Not everything is on the Internet,” Liam says, his tone fond with a touch of exasperation.

“I read a book!” Sam says.

“You read _Top Dog: How to Be The Alpha Who Keeps Your Omega Always At Heel_,” Liam says. “I wouldn’t use that for toilet paper.”

“It was number one in its category on Amazon!” Sam says.

“Oh, like that’s a ringing endorsement,” Liam says.

“I just -- I just wanted this to be good for you,” Sam says, squeezing Liam’s hand.

“I know,” Liam says, his voice softening. “And that’s why I love you,” he says. “Even if you do half ass your research at times.”

Sam laughs. “You’re going into heat and we’re talking about research. I am really doing great at this Alpha thing.”

“You’re exactly the Alpha I need,” Liam says. “But...perhaps we could move this back to the bedroom now?”

Liam stands up and tugs Sam along with him, both of them a little giddy, giggling and stopping every few seconds to kiss. Sam gently pushes Liam against a wall in the hallway, stepping close to inhale deeply at his neck.

“Goddamn. I’m never getting over how fucking good you smell,” Sam growls, hands grabbing Liam’s hips.

Liam whines, clutching at Sam as his knees start to go weak, the proximity of Sam and the first rush of his heat combining to make him light-headed.

“Bed. Bed now,” Liam growls back, pushing Sam back and tugging his clothes off as he stalks the rest of the way to the bedroom.

This time around Liam feels more coherent somehow. There’s something about sharing his heat with Sam after their admission of their feelings for each other that leaves him with sharper memories this time. Memories of the way Sam felt inside him, the weight of his body bearing Liam down onto the mattress; how he bit at Liam’s shoulder and the back of his neck before leaving a trail of bites down his spine; Sam’s tongue licking at Liam and making him cry out loudly; the way Sam looked when he knotted him, a mixture of amazement and fondness in his eyes.

“Hey, Liam, wake up,” Sam’s voice whispers in his ear and Liam grunts, flailing his hand behind his head until he finds Sam’s face and pushes it back gently.

“No, sleeping,” Liam mutters back at him, tugging Sam’s arm tighter around his chest.

“We need to get up,” Sam says.

Liam whines sleepily again and wriggles back into Sam’s embrace. “Too tired,” he mumbles. “You wore me out.”

“We wore each other out,” Sam says with a soft chuckle. “But we need to get up. It’s Sunday and the family’s coming home soon, and I did promise your wife I’d give you back eventually.”

Liam sighs and still doesn’t move.

“Don’t make me use the Alpha voice,” Sam says teasingly.

“Mm. Do you even have one?” Liam says.

“I’ll get Taliesin to teach me,” Sam says, attempting to move away from Liam again only to be recaptured by him.

“Unfair,” Liam mumbles. “You can’t both team up against me.”

“I guess I didn’t ask how you were doing,” Sam says.

“I was fine until some asshole woke me up,” Liam says.

Sam can’t fight back a grin and he presses a kiss to the back of Liam’s neck. It’s a far cry from last time when he woke up to Liam limping away from him, shoulders hunched and an awkward tension in the air. He knows they really do have to get up, but he holds Liam a little closer, hand sliding down to rest on Liam’s stomach. They have a few more minutes at least.

**

Their lives mostly go back to normal after that: Liam goes back on his suppressants, but he and Sam still manage to carve out some time here and there for themselves, stealing a night at each others’ houses or renting a hotel room for a weekend.

At his annual checkup about two months after his last heat, Liam’s actually grateful to be here for once because he’s been feeling odd lately, his stomach rebelling every so often along with being exhausted beyond his usual level of “too much to do and not enough hours in the day.” His doctor comes in after getting Liam’s blood test results, a strange look on his face.

“Mr. O’Brien? I have some news….”


End file.
